Khanjar…The Dagger

By

Slowly, ever so slowly, as time passes by,

And more than a sprinkling of salt shades my beard,

I begin to realize, that I am being shadowed,

By an endless stream of my failings as a person,

& Fiery ghosts, drunk on evil,

Who threaten to sink me, ever so often….

Distraught, I run to escape from the impending disaster,

On a path that is unknown to me,

But which, I presume, will take me to repentance,

On the way, I grab a small khanjar-dagger,

And tuck it below my belt,

But it is not an easy journey to begin with,

As everything is covered under a layer of smoldering coals,

Giving it a noxious, red ambience,

And a shroud of thick, dense smoke,

Whereby each gasp of breath sears the lungs,

The throat is choked by cakes like arid sand,

Eyes hardened to primeval rock,

And the soft skin, flaking off, inch by inch….

Even as life begins to ebb,

And the gateway to repentance eludes me,

I feel a deep churning in the pit of my stomach,

As sheer failure confronts me,

Devastated- I draw the Khanjar from my belt,

The Khanjar

And with trembling hands, try to thrust it into my heart,

To finish the ordeal, for once and all,

But lo and behold, it slips into the coals below,

To be consumed within no time,

Desperation threatens to overwhelm me,

Still, as a last call to hope,

I garner all the energy in my by now almost lifeless body,

And shout, to seek someone, who can lead me to redemption,

But it is none other than Sonia, whose beatific face smiles at me,

Sonia & me- enjoying an Ice-Cream in Mumbai

As she has been doing every morning for the past 29 years,

And find that I am not walking on a desultory path,

But am ensconced in the comfort of my warm bed,

As the two of us prepare to sip the best in the world piping hot tea……

The day consumed me in a jiffy,

With a strange cloud of suspense hanging over my head.

But as I hit the bed that night,

I mulled over what I could remember of the bizarre nightmare,

And realized, once again, the need for apologies aplenty,

To be sought, from many,

Some of whom, sadly, are no longer with us,

My dearest Mummy, who, sadly, deservers the biggest share of my apologies & repentance continues to walk with us after 23rd February, 2022- I often commiserate , as to whether I can ever reach out to her, and seek forgiveness for so many things- said and unsaid- love you Mummy….

Which, unless brought to rest,

Threaten to needle my conscience,

Till the last breath of my life, and who knows, beyond……

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20 responses to “Khanjar…The Dagger”

  1. Abrar Sheriff M Avatar
    Abrar Sheriff M

    Starting of as a Thriller, winding into life’s frailties. Different way to engage the reader but to be appreciated. Ending with touch of Nostalgia. The Pen Rules.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      You and Rajiv- never miss to give your priceless feedback- perhaps my biggest achievement ever since I started writing this blog; Grateful brother….

      Like

  2. rana3287 Avatar
    rana3287

    It is well written. All the similar emotions which go through in our minds are very well expressed.

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Dear Rana- you have truly said- we have similar emotions in our minds; thanks brother for your appreciation—-keep the feedback coming in…

      Like

  3. dtnaturelover Avatar
    dtnaturelover

    Very well written. Beautifully woven words to create impact and feel.

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Your nuanced feedback is what I always look forward to……grateful…..

      Like

  4. gautamu1963 Avatar
    gautamu1963

    Wonderfully written. Very nice AP

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Dear Sir….thanks for taking time from your busy schedule to provide these comments; mean a lo to me…….

      Like

  5. sanjaymadaneok Avatar
    sanjaymadaneok

    Lovely read APS… enjoyable 😊

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Thanks brother, for always standing by me…….keeps me motivated……

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  6. JP Singh Avatar

    Nice 👍

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Keep guiding me!!! keep blessing me…

      Like

  7. arupc Avatar
    arupc

    Bro .., Nicely done. You are one heck of a wordsmith. This perhaps is the first piece of your poetry that I have read. Kudos and congratulations.
    Arup

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Overwhelmed with your appreciation dear!!! Do keep reading the blogs and dropping in ur comments once in a while when u get time from ur busy schedule….

      Like

  8. Anilesh Avatar
    Anilesh

    Awasome feeling… Dear.

    I am not capable to enjoy such poems.

    Anyway

    All the best.

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Dear Anilesh….thanks for your feedback; please don’t undermine yourself for my ordinary work….

      Like

  9. yaserhusain Avatar
    yaserhusain

    Sir, Remarkable Poetry! Truly thoughtful and intriguing, full of emotions. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Dear Son, grateful for the nuanced appreciation……means the world to me; May God bless you!!!

      Like

  10. Rajiv Dutta Avatar
    Rajiv Dutta

    Walking down the path which one never knows where it will lead to, has been very well weaved into a story line which has both repentance as well as redemption.
    The heaviness of diction, punctuates the sentiments running through the composition.
    The signature light at the end of the tunnel has been aesthetically woven to lend purpose to the poetry

    Like

    1. APS Malhotra Avatar

      Dear Rajiv, thanks for your valuable input about the heaviness of words at certain places which is hampering the flow of emotions; will definitely be more careful in the future…….

      Like

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